What's on Tori Spelling's Bucket List?

Since the days of 90210 (the original, not the copy!) we've been fans of Tori Spelling.  She was Donna Martin, need we say more? And now that we're all grown up (well...sort of!) we have a new appreciation for her as an author. First there the New York Times bestseller,  sTORI telling which we gobbled up with a spoon (loved the inside scoop on Shannen Doherty and tales from the set of 90210) then there was Mommywood (which also topped the NYT bestseller list) and now there's her latest, Uncharted TerriTori. In Uncharted TerriTori, Tori is again incredibly open and candid as she writes about everything from media scrutiny over her weight and marriage to Dean McDermott to her controversial relationship with Dean's ex-wife to her unfolding reconciliation with her mother, Candy Spelling. And we loved every single page.

And you can win ONE of FOUR copies of Uncharted TerriTori by simply leaving a comment on this post. And on Friday, we'll randomly select the winners! Good luck!

And now CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...WHAT'S ON TORI SPELLING'S BUCKET LIST?

1. Go for sushi in Japan

2. Go antique shopping in throughout France

3. Own a farm

4. Go to Bali with Dean

5. Take the kids on a safari

To find out more about Tori Spelling, follow her on Twitter. And if you haven't already, be sure to check out her reality show Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood.

Thanks, Tori!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Mama Drama by Liz

Mommy is doing the best she can, honey. I can't tell you how many times I repeated that phrase to my four-year old while visiting my Mom this past weekend.  Swimming nonstop for 6 hours straight combined with the fact that I overcooked her mac and cheese and forgot to pack her favorite Hello Kitty underwear really sent her over the edge!

And I didn't miss the small smile forming on my mother's lips as she watched Miss R demand the crust be taken off her bread or when she told me that my singing  "hurt her ears". (In her defense, I am a TERRIBLE singer.  But still.)

Come on people. It didn't take a mind reader to know what my mom was thinking while she had that smirk on her face.

Finally!  It's payback time, beyotch!

Yes, it's true.  Growing up, I had a tendency to be somewhat of a little bitchface at times to my mother, who in all fairness, was a wonderful parent.  Hell, even now, I sometimes speak to her like a spoiled teenage brat, rolling my eyes and saying, "Whatevuh, Mom!" whenever she harps on me for not taking a daily multi-vitamin or reminds me that osteoporosis runs in our family.

And normally, occasional meltdowns from my kids when they are overly exhausted don't really phase me.  But I just finished Tori Spelling's MOMMYWOOD last week and now every perceived injustice from my daughter has me paranoid.  You see, My girl Tori has got some serious mama drama and she's obsessed with righting the perceived wrongs from her childhood.  Specifically, things that her mother Candy did.  And that obsession seems to control most of the parenting decisions that she makes.

Candy made Tori wear her hair in a bob for most of her childhood? Well, her daughter Stella is going to grow her hair down to her ass like some crazy hippie!

Candy had incredible costumes made every Halloween? Well, Tori is ordering hers from *gasp* Pottery Barn Kids!  Take that, Candy!

By the end of the book, I felt bad for Tori.  And not because she had some terrible childhood, (I'm sorry, but while giving your child Madame Alexander dolls may be lame, it's not child abuse!) but because she has let her mother's flaws as a parent have such power over her, even as an adult.

And if Tori and I were BFFs, (Does it count that I know someone who knows someone who is in her Mommy and me class?) I'd give her this small pearl of wisdom:

No matter what you do or how hard you try, you're going to F*CK up your kids somehow.  That while you may be successful in not screwing them up the same way your parents did, I assure you that they will find all new ways to be screwed up.  It's just the way it is.  All you can do is love them and do the best you can!

So there you go, Tori.  The answer to all your problems.  No need to thank me, girl.

And in tribute to my own mother, I've complied a list of all the ways I'm probably scarring my own children for life.  I'm thinking it will come in handy when my daughter pens her first tell-all!

MOMMY IS VERY SORRY THAT...

1.  Mommy is very sorry about Goofy the guinea pig's death.  And despite what you told everyone at preschool, I did not feed her poison spinach.

2.  Mommy is sorry that she dared to speak while you were watching Spongebob.  I know that it was a very pivotal moment where you were about to discover the secret "Krabby Patty" ingredient.

3.  Mommy is very sorry that her tater tots don't taste the same as the ones they serve at preschool.  You would think that all over-processed frozen potato products would taste the same.  But as you mentioned, theirs are "yummy" and mine are "disgusting".  Actually, you told me that they were IS-UG-STING.  But I knew what you meant.

4. Mommy is very sorry that she doesn't want to get her hair wet at the pool.  But, seriously, have you seen what Mommy's hair looks like when it air dries? And on a side note, I'm sorry to break the news you may have the same problem on your hands in the future. And don't go blaming that one on me, girlfriend.  Even Mommy can't control genetics!

5. Mommy is very sorry she didn't eat the thousand-calorie banana bread your class worked very hard on at the Mother's day breakfast.  All I can say is that I hope you inherit your Grandmother's metabolism!

xoxo Liz

I'm a (book) swinger By Lisa

My name is Lisa Steinke and I'm a swinger. A "book" swinger, that is...

I'm ready to face the cold, hard reality that I no longer believe in book monogamy.

I just can't seem to commit to just one novel anymore. I can no longer live in denial as the Jenga-like stack of reads on my nightstand stares me down each night...Each book calling out to me that it should be the one I choose.

I've got saucy books-- Lisa, pick me I have really.. big... WORDS.

Needy books--Lisaaaaa, you haven't held me since last Tuesday....!!!

Arrogant books--Lisa, I'm on the New York Times Best Seller List-- as if this is really a hard decision for you.

But the book I'm going to crawl into bed with is completely dependent upon what kind of mood I'm in. I might need a little romance one night. But the next, I might need a hardback...if you know what I'm sayin' *wink* *wink*

So, that's why I'm currently reading several, er, ten different books.

Yup, I'm seeing ten books at the same time.

But it wasn't always this bad...Really, it wasn't.

In the beginning, it was two, maybe three tops. But before I knew it, I was in double digits...

And now I'm a full-blown book whore.

I read around. I do. I can't help it. I want to be with them all... I'll be in bed with one but I'll be distracted, thinking about the other. It's not that I don't LOVE book "X", it's just that book "Y" is new, exciting, different...

And my whoreyness has never been more evident than while I've been trying to pack for my trip to Maui this week. I haven't been facing the usual packing dilemmas like how many pairs of espadrilles to bring, how many sundresses are absolutely critical or if I really do need aviators and Jacki O's. My true struggle has been deciding which lucky books get to travel with me to a romantic and relaxing vacation in Aloha land.

My instinct is to grab four or five so I can have options, but realistically, I'll probably only read two or three because I plan to be doing *cough* other things with my very human lover.

And although this space issue is a problem a Kindle could easily solve, I just don't think I could whore out with Kindle the way I do with my books. Call me old school, but I'm a gal who needs a little foreplay...who loves to hold and caress her book, to bury her nose deep within its pages and inhale that glorious new book smell. I just don't think I could go all gadgety even if it came down to not having the room for another pair of wedges or needing to forgo that lime green Banana Republic sun hat, even if it was an impulse buy...

So you'd think that knowing I have this problem... Knowing that I'm already juggling ten different stories from ten different books (just keeping all the names straight is a full-time job), that I'd stop adding to my fictional and nonfictional harem. If only it were that simple. If only I had the will power to avoid that place called Barnes & Noble.

I imagine asking a book whore to stay away from Barnes & Noble is like trying to convince an alcoholic to stay away from the bar. Aint .gonna. happen.

So, I pull into the parking lot and tell myself that I am allowed to go inside but I'm not allowed to buy anything. Not even a bookmark. I'll just see what new books are out. No harm in that, right? Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu...

But once I'm inside and all the books are surrounding me-- New fiction, Best Sellers, Recommended Reading, Bargain Bin (actually, I never stop there--even I have limits...)-- I can't help myself.

And before I know it, I'm picking up a book and reading the back cover. Then, the first page.

That's not cheating, right? Books A, B, C, D and E will never have to know. But then...

I. want. it.

I. must. have. it.

I. am. going. to. buy. it.

And as I walk out of the store with my green, plastic bag (I know, I know... I need to go canvas) I vow that I will NOT read the new guy. I'll take him home, put him on my shelf and only after I finish the other books will I even dare crack him open.

But that's never what happens.

I get home and somehow he ends up on my nightstand, staring at me. Begging me to open him. Taunting me with his promises of new and different protagonists and exciting plot twists.

Until finally, I cave.

And that's exactly what happened after my most recent "browsing" excursion to B&N. Even though I obviously had plenty of books to take with me to Kaanapali, I couldn't resist the urge to see what else was out there.

And as I exited with Laura Dave’s, London is the Best City in America (hey, I didn’t have it in paperback & after devouring The Divorce Party, I decided I have a total writer crush on her!), Cathy Yardley’s, Turning Japanese (it sounds so fun!), Alison Pace’s, City Dog (one of the narrators of the book is the dog-- how clever is that?!) and *throat clear* Candy Spelling's, Candyland (c'mon, who isn’t curious about that mansion?), I tried not to feel guilty for being unfaithful to the books faithfully waiting for me at home.

So which books made it into my brand spankin' new Tory Burch beach bag?

A true book whore never reads and tells...

Although please let me know if you come across any books that could help with my disorder. Anything along the lines of…

Book Whores Are People Too!

Don’t Turn That Page! An Addicts Guide To Faithfully Reading

or

Confessions of a Book Swinger: How One Just Wasn’t Enough...

xoxo, Lisa