ELLEN

Writing Wednesday: Rejection Shmejection By Liz & Lisa

It can be more brutal than being dumped by your boyfriend. More disappointing than being passed over for your dream promotion. And even more humiliating than being stood up by a blind date...

We're talking about literary agent rejection.

We're no strangers to rejection.  When you choose to put yourself out there each and every week by, well, writing about your life on a blog, you learn to roll with the punches.  So we thought that sending out a one page query for our pride and joy, The D Word, would be a walk in the park.  I mean, c'mon, who could resist us, right?

Um, apparently, more than a few people.

But as many of you who've sailed the uncharted waters of the publishing world know all too well, the "um, thanks but no thanks" letter from a prospective agent can sting a bit, reminding you a little of that "it's not you, it's me" email that you received from that guy you once dated.

And when we receive responses addressed to Mr. Fenton and Mr. Steinke (yup, it's actually happened), we try to find the humor in it. We just shake our heads and wonder how they got a hold of those pictures from our 1998 "Ellen" hair phase. Or maybe it was the brown-braided belt/polo shirt/penny loafers pics?  What was going on with the 90's and manly fashion anyway?

But we digress. The thing is, whether they get our gender right or not, it's still a big N-O. See you later. Get outta here.  Stick to your day job (well for Liz anyway- Lisa, um, doesn't exactly have one).

But you can't let the N-O's get you down. Because as Lisa says to Liz whenever one of our dream agents breaks her heart into tiny little pieces (yep, she's the sensitive one) with a form rejection letter no less, We only need one person to say yes.

One person who knows that Chick Lit isn't Dead.

One person who thinks The D Word is fabulous.

One person to realize that we got it goin' on like DONKEY KONG! (What does that mean anyway?)

Just like dating, it's all about timing, chemistry and forming a connection. We're just praying that we'll find an agent faster than we found our spouses because Liz doesn't think she can go through that sh*t again.  (Although a prospective agent wouldn't just *forget* to show up to her college graduation party, right?)

But until we find "the one", we're wearing our most fashionable bulletproof armor and having fun. And the reality is, we haven't been at this very long.  And we're such perfectionists (and by "we", we mean Lisa) that even a handful of "no's" can seem like too many.

So, for now, we wait on pins and needles for our query to be plucked out of our fave agent's inbox, our partials to be adored and our credentials to be considered.  And don't quote us (we don't want to jinx it!), but we have a feeling that our YES man or woman is right around the corner. Wish us luck!

Do you have a query rejection story? Please share. Misery loves company!

xoxo, Liz & Lisa