Our guest today: Jennifer Tress
Why we love her: She tells it like it is!
Her latest: You're Not Pretty Enough
The Scoop: From the "Sex Papers" Jen drew as a four-year-old when her mom was pregnant with her younger sister, to her sole teenage act of rebellion: going to church. "We're very disappointed in you," her nonreligious parents said. When she was sixteen Jennifer fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi and felt certain that if he just met her, he'd feel exactly the same way. They met all right. But that's not what happened. At twenty-three Jen married her college sweetheart and divorced him at twenty-six after he'd had an affair. Affairs happen every day. What doesn't happen every day? The wife and the girlfriend meeting at a bar, discovering they liked each other, and then confronting Jen's husband that same night. The true stories contained her are smart, uproarious and utterly relatable. Told chronologically and chock full of truths, You're Not Pretty Enough provides an example of how to be comfortable in your own skin and ultimately live a full life (even if you screw up, royally, along the way).
From the “Sex Papers” Jen drew as a four-year-old when her mom was pregnant with her younger sister to her sole teenage act of rebellion: going to church. “We’re very disappointed in you,” her nonreligious parents said. When she was sixteen, Jennifer fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi and felt certain that if he just met her, he’d feel exactly the same way. They met all right. But that’s not what happened.
At twenty-three Jen married her college sweetheart and divorced him at twenty-six after he’d had an affair. Affairs happen every day. What doesn’t happen every day? The wife and the girlfriend meeting at a bar, discovering they liked each other, and then confronting Jen’s husband that same night.
Smart, uproarious and utterly relatable You’re Not Pretty Enough is chock full of truths and provides an example of how to be comfortable in your own skin and ultimately live a full life (even if you screw up, royally, along the way).
- See more at: http://www.yourenotprettyenough.com/v2/the-book/#sthash.NQT9VjRc.dpuf
From the “Sex Papers” Jen drew as a four-year-old when her mom was pregnant with her younger sister to her sole teenage act of rebellion: going to church. “We’re very disappointed in you,” her nonreligious parents said. When she was sixteen, Jennifer fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi and felt certain that if he just met her, he’d feel exactly the same way. They met all right. But that’s not what happened.
At twenty-three Jen married her college sweetheart and divorced him at twenty-six after he’d had an affair. Affairs happen every day. What doesn’t happen every day? The wife and the girlfriend meeting at a bar, discovering they liked each other, and then confronting Jen’s husband that same night.
Smart, uproarious and utterly relatable You’re Not Pretty Enough is chock full of truths and provides an example of how to be comfortable in your own skin and ultimately live a full life (even if you screw up, royally, along the way).
- See more at: http://www.yourenotprettyenough.com/v2/the-book/#sthash.NQT9VjRc.dpuf
Our thoughts: Three words: Laugh. Out. LOUD!
Giveaway: ONE copy! Just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win. We'll choose the winners on Sunday December 8th after 3pm PST.
Where to read more about Jennifer: Her website, Facebook and Twitter.
LIZ AND LISA PRESENT....JENNIFER TRESS' 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME
1. Remember that you are more than your body. Your breasts will come in at around 12 and they will be big right from the start. You’re a little taller than average, and since you have a well-proportioned body in that hourglass way, you will get unwelcome and sometimes unseemly attention from grown men. The deli guy, even a teacher or two, will give you that explicit, expressionless up and down or a direct verbal innuendo. At first you will feel shame and you will hide your “assets” under baggy clothes. You will turn off your personality, and look down to the ground so that you don’t make eye contact. It will make you unhappy for a little while, until you…
2. Choose empowerment. As you get to be a sophomore, you’ll realize you have some control over that leering behavior and how you react in the face of it. You’ll realize you’re just becoming a woman and hey these boobs ain’t half bad! And, wouldn’t it be fun if I could force the creepy dudes to face their creepy behavior? So you’ll go into Spencer Gifts at the mall and buy a smallish red pin with white lettering. And it will say “Stop Staring At My Tits” and you will wear it on the jean jacket you wear every day (with Jon Bon Jovi’s face inked on the back) and place it strategically…over your breasts. And you will laaaaugggh (in your head) when the deli guy reads it and looks you in the face by mistake and then quickly looks away, ashamed.
3. Putting out is not going to make you popular. You will try this time and time again (way past your teens, even) not realizing that you’re seeking validation that you’re pretty/good enough or using it as a trophy that says “hey…I just made it with this dude and he’s popular, so that must make me…[fill in the blank].” The problem is, if you don’t fill in the blank, they will; with “a slut,” or “pathetic,” or whatever. Putting out doesn’t make you a slut. It makes you sexual. And if you’re sexual in a way that shows respect for yourself, and you engage when you’re mature enough to handle it, that’s healthy. Putting out to fill a void is not, however. So…
4. Make choices that honor you. If you’re in that moment where you’re leading up to something sexual or otherwise unhealthy, and something starts nagging at you like, I don’t really want to do this, but I don’t want to look like a prude/disappoint anyone, listen to it. Say, “you know what? I’m not ready for this.” So what if the guy or a peer is disappointed? You made a choice that honored you. When you’re 15, you’ll go out with a guy a couple years older who will be mad (or embarrassed?) that you didn’t have sex with him so he lied and told people you did. When you hear the rumor, you’ll catch him in the hallway, pull him by your locker and say, “you better tell people the truth, or I’ll just tell everyone you had a really, really small…” Guess what? Things got better.
5. Continue to invest time in activities that light you up and get you excited. You will do that with theater and writing and art throughout your high school experience, but you’ll push those passions aside in favor of a more practical path once you enter college. Hey, you come from a long line of hard workers who tow that heavy line into the sweet shores of responsible career choices and savings accounts. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just...if the world could deliver me a time machine where I could go back to you as a teen, then instead of merely dipping our toes into la vie boheme, we would wade up to our middle, take a long swim, and then decide.
Thanks, Jennifer!