My two cents about the terrible two's by Lisa

Girlfriends, they don't call it the terrible twos for nothing. Since my daughter turned two and a half, I've had my fair share of tantrum taming. (And my own share of tantrums! And wine drinking, but that's a whole other Oprah!) I've even violated my own (not so) strict policy: Never negotiate with this terrorist that has taken over my toddler's body. (Let's just say I find Goldfish to be very affective.)

So, while I am most definitely losing this battle, I have promised myself that I will. not. lose. this. war.

But having said all of that, this is my war to lose, right?  My toddler to tame? My life?

So if this is the case, why does Mrs. Susie Q Stranger feel she can insert her two cents as she looks at me with her wide patronizing eyes while I'm bribing offering my daughter those famous little cheddar crackers so she won't climb out of the cart and say, I'm sooooo glad those days are over!

I don't know. There's just something about that statement that gets under my skin. While I'm sure it's meant as a "I'm a mom too so let me tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel" moment, it rubs me the wrong way.

So here's my two cents. This woman doesn't know me. She doesn't know my daughter. And she most definitely doesn't know how hard it was for me to get pregnant. She doesn't understand that while this terrible two thing is something I bitch about (yes, Liz has fielded many calls) it's something I laugh about even more. The thing is, I'm not looking to fast forward the clock (that's already moving so quickly) to a time when I know I'll have a whole other set of challenges--like when my daughter transforms into an eye-rolling teen who wants to be with her friends 24/7. And after my daughter is grown and out of the house and I witness a mother and her teen going four rounds over how short a prom dress should be, I won't say to her, I'm sooo glad those days are over.

I'll take this time. The good, the bad and the ugly. Because I know it goes by "like that." I may be my toddler's hostage now but I'll be back in command soon enough! #famouslastwords

(PS: She says she will free me if I cancel all naps, all bedtimes and all attempts to help do anything! Or simply send Cinderella anything and she says she'll let me go...#pleasehelp)

What about you guys?  Does it bother you when strangers make remarks?  And did your kids go through this too? #makemefeelbetter

The Bachelorette: 5 Reasons Why These Dudes Can't Be Dads

Admittedly, I got up on my soapbox when it was officially announced that single mom Emily Maynard was going to be The Bachelorette. (I was not happy about it- I have issues with single moms and dads allowing their children to be on TV--remember when I called shame on you on Bachelor Jason Mesnick?)

Sure, Emily's cute and sweet and got her heart broken by over-therapized yet completely unchanged commitment phobe and very angry Brad Womack, but does she really think she can find a dad for her daughter, Ricky, in just a few weeks? Or maybe the better question is, does she really think these dudes actually can or want to be dads? (With the exception of the two single dads on the show, I think the answer is no. (Even though a couple of them might actually think they do.)

Last night, Jennifer Weiner tweeted it best, Drink every time a guy says he's "ready to be a father." Drink twice if you think he's lying! #bachelorette. And even Jason Biggs got in on the #Bachelorette Twitter action tweeting: I still don't know who half these guys are. And yet, they are on ‪#TheBachelorette‬ , so I know exactly who they are, really. (Side note: he also tweeted about Dolly Parton's camel toe. Gross but hilarious.)

So here, alas, are the five reasons why I say these dudes CANNOT be dads.

1. They think becoming a father to Emily's daughter is "a compromise."  Oy vey. At least Alessandro got kicked off for this ignorant remark (Oh, and turns out if you watched the credits, he admitted to Emily's BFF's that he cheated on a past girlfriend). I guess there is a reality TV show God afterall.

2. They think an egg and a child are the same thing. Yes, Travis, your ostrich egg that you named "Shelly" is the same thing as having a child! Bringing him (or her?) on The Bachelorette proves you can be a father just about as much as one of those crying dolls dissuades teens from having unprotected sex and getting pregnant! But Poor Shelly didn't get a rose (even though his/her "dad" did)...Emily smashed him into itty bitty pieces Humpty Dumpty style. If you ask me, every Bachelorette episode should have an #eggmurder.

3. Instead of playing with kids, they tell Emily not to get fat. Emily The producers brought a boat load of kids to a park to see how the guys would react. Er, dudes, this is your chance to show you like kids?! But instead of pushing them on the swings or sliding with them on the slides like the guys that are actually trying to play the game, gym owner, Ryan,  (who has really. bad. hair. btw) finds Emily and her BFF's and when the conversation turns to weight gain, says it won't be okay with him if Emily gains weight after marriage and something along the lines of, "she'll be loved, but not loved on." Weirdly, her friends seem to have NO reaction to this? (I think any of mine would've kicked him in his unloved parts!) And even worse? Although Emily admits she didn't like that he said that, she still gives him a rose... *sigh*

4. Kids will interrupt you! Kalon (the tall weirdo dude with the glasses) in the course of telling Emily how he always thought his first child would be HIS OWN, scolds her when she interrupts him. He says,"I love it when you talk, but you need to stop interrupting me." Ouch. So, she slaps him, then kicks him off the show, right? WRONG. Although she acknowledges his remark- to camera- not to him- "I like tall, cute and funny, not tall cute and condescending," he still got a rose...I'd hate to see what happens when Emily's sweet daughter interrupts him. Major red flag, Emily.

5. Private concerts, love songs and Dolly Parton will not be the norm. So far, Emily has made a guy help bake cookies for her daughter's soccer game and play with a group of sugar-infused kids. The dudes even had to pass her "BFF test." But how much "real world" experience are these guys getting? And how is Emily really going to know if these guys can swing this fatherhood thing? It's easy to melt into the moment at a private concert when Dolly Parton (and her camel toe) are singing a love song to you, but let's get real here, dudes. It's going to take a lot more than dancing to Dolly to make you a dad.

xoxo,

Lisa

Time Magazine's Mommy War: Can't we all just get along? by Liz

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last week, I'm sure you've seen this recent Time magazine cover asking if you're Mom Enough. I'll admit, when I first laid eyes on it, I was pissed. I posted it to my Facebook page with a snide comment.  I made assumptions about that ridiculously hot mom and wondered how the hell her boobs looked that great after breastfeeding for five thousand years. And I wasn't alone-a social networking and media firestorm over the "right" way to parent raged on the internet. Angry status wars on Facebook.  Twitter debates heard around the world.

But, then I realized something. The executives at Time magazine who orchestrated this whole thing were most likely laughing their asses off and high-fiving each other for inciting another mommy riot-selling a shitload of magazines in the process. And why not?  We make it so easy for them!

You see, the reason this cover pisses us off is not because there's a three-year-old nibbling on his mom's boob, but the way that picture and headline below it make us feel.  If you don't wear your baby in a sling-you suck.  If your boobs aren't providing milk until your kid hits kindergarten, you've failed as a mother.  Only evil mothers let their babies cry it out. And we buy into it, getting defensive and attacking attachment parenting until we're blue in the face. When, in reality, there's nothing wrong with attachment parenting-it just may not be right for you.

And it seems we've forgotten one really important thing: There's more than one way to be a great parent.

The media loves to kick up a good shitstorm between women.  Perfect example?  The classic stay-at-home mom vs working mom debate.  Our instinct is to put one another down in order to feel better about our own choices-that insecurity we all harbor deep down inside that we may not be supermom rearing it's ugly head anytime someone suggests one lifestyle is better than the other.

Personally, I'm tired of seeing mothers fight over what the "right" choices are.  Dr. Phil can solve paternity issues, find long-lost siblings and fix bad marriages in one hour flat, but when he had SAHMs and working moms on his show, the debate was so heated that they had to extend into two hours.  The venom that was spewed and the judgement that was handed down on both sides was disturbing and hard to watch.

Here's a thought: What if we took that energy and supported each other instead?  Or better yet, work on getting right within ourselves so we don't attack each other? And when did the F did mothering turn into a competitive sport?

I choose to work because I enjoy it-and I'm not ashamed to be a working mother.  And I've always felt that if moms make choices that make them happy(as long as it doesn't include cocaine and a bottle of tequila!) that their family will probably be happy too. It was the right decision for me-but that doesn't mean it's the right choice for others. I have great love and respect for the stay-at-home Moms out there and have good friends on both sides of this coin.  And if there's snarky comments or judgment directed my way from others because of how I live my life, I've finally figured out that it has more to do with them than me.

I'm not a perfect mom by any means(and probably the worst girl scout leader EVEH, but that's a whole other blog!), and I know I've made more than my share of mistakes.  I'm just like y'all-I worry that the choices I make today will effect my kids later on. But I hope that I'm teaching them that no one moment, good or bad, defines them as long as they live in the present. And that whether I breastfed until they graduated college or not at all, I love them more than anything in this world. And it's that love for our children that makes us ALL Mom enough.

I want to know what YOU think!  I've got a GREAT prize package for someone! A BUNDLE O' BOOKS! Leave a comment and I'll choose the winner on Monday May 21st after 6pm PST.

xoxo, Liz

Chris Brown and Rihanna collaboration: media hype or seriously disturbing?

I was one of those people who used to think Rihanna and Chris Brown were adorable together. In fact, I hadn't crushed on a couple like that since Justin and Britney strutted into the VMAs wearing their matching denim outfits. But Chris and Rihanna seemed to be the real deal-both at the top of their game, and cute as hell.

Until he beat the living shit out of her.

Just like any public relationship that we all help put on a pedestal, it came crashing down when the curtains were pulled back to reveal the ugly truth-that their relationship was unhealthy and abusive.  The pictures released of Rihanna post-beating were graphic and disturbing.  But even more disturbing was Chris Brown's hollow apologies for his actions and anger at any interviewer that GOD FORBID bring it up while he was trying to promote his new album.  His lack of ANY remorse left a bad taste in my mouth and also made it difficult to separate Chris Brown, the guy who makes great music from Chris Brown, the dickhead who beat his girlfriend within an inch of her life.

But, this is America, and we'll forgive just about anything if you lay low for long enough. (Marv Albert, I'm talking to you!)  So when Chris Brown performed at this year's Grammys, I didn't think too much of it.  No, I wasn't going to buy his albums, but I wasn't surprised that he was back on the main stage.

But when I heard that he and Rihanna had collaborated on not one but TWO singles and were rumored to perform on American Idol together later this season, I wanted to puke up all the Cheezits I had downed while I thought no one was looking. (Damn you, salty goodness!) This was also followed by reports that the couple was back together.  Which left me, sitting in front of my computer, holding a empty bag of Cheezits and saying, WHAT THE F*CK!

Where is Rihanna's support system? I know she's an adult who makes her own decisions, but someone fell asleep at the wheel on this one. And history tells us that Chris Brown's pattern of abuse is determined to repeat itself, you just don't brutally kick the shit out of someone as a fluke. But what scares me even more is the message this sends to impressionable young men and women. It's okay to be someone who uses violence to solve your relationship issues. It's okay to beat up your girlfriend, she's going to take you back AND perform on American Idol with you too!

I would guess most of us have been in some sort of abusive relationship at one time or another.  Maybe they were over controlling and put you down so that you wouldn't ever dream that you deserved better.  Or maybe they pushed you around and made you feel like you couldn't leave. It's a fact that many women stay in abusive relationships because they just don't feel like they have any other options.  And this Rihanna/Chris Brown shit certainly is not going to help give them the strength figure out that they do.

But I get it.  Rihanna certainly didn't sign up to become the battered women spokesperson and has the right to make all the terrible decisions she wants. Just like we have the right to talk all kinds of smack about it here. But I think American Idol should know better and be concerned with the message they're sending by inviting them to perform rather than trying desperately to drive ratings because they're scared The Voice has become more relevant.

What do YOU think? Am I overreacting or does the thought of Chris Brown and Rihanna performing together make you want to puke your Cheezits too? Tell me!

xo, Liz