The Divorce Party

Laura Dave's 5 Do's and a Do-Over

There really are no words left to describe our deep love for Laura Dave. We'll simply say she's the best and that her writing is some of the very best out there. And that we will always look forward to her next book with child-like anticipation. She's just that damn good. So first order of business? Don't even think. Just get your hands on her latest fabulous, insightful, emotional, nail biting, passionate, fantastic novel, The First Husband.(Officially out today!) And if for some crazy reason (because you'd just have to be crazy) you haven't read her other books yet, you must immediately buy, download, check out, whatever your method my be, her debut novel, London is the best City in America and her second book, The Divorce Party. (Both uh-mazing and each optioned to be made into movies by some serious A-listers. Um, can we say Reese Witherspoon & Jennifer Aniston respectively?) Synopsis of The First Husband: Annie Adams thinks she has it all. Her longtime boyfriend, Nick, is on the verge of becoming a successful film director, her travel column is nationally syndicated, and they've got a great dog. Her life finally feels like it is falling into place. Until, out of nowhere, Nick announces that he's reconnected with a woman from his past and he's moving out.

Reeling from Nick's exit, Annie stumbles into her neighborhood bar and finds Griffin, a down to earth chef who seems to be everything she didn't know she wanted. Three months later, they're married. And Annie finds herself in a small Massachusetts town -- completely unmoored and wondering if she's picked a life on the rebound. When Nick returns, wanting a second chance, Annie's stuck: truly torn between her husband and the man she may have been meant to marry.

Sound like your kind of book? Hells yeah it does! Well you know the drill...just leave a comment here and be entered to win one of five copies of The First Husband. We'll randomly select the winners after 6pm EST on Wednesday, May 18th.

And we're lovin' Laura even more after reading her 5 Do's and Do-Over (especially after discovering we have a mutual soft spot for that show from the late nineties, Felicity! How hot was Ben???)

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...LAURA DAVE'S 5 DO'S AND A DO-OVER

DO

1.     DO Take a Road Trip

I will grant you: The world is full of incredible places to explore. But my favorite kind of trip is one where I never have to see an airport.  My greatest adventures have involved getting behind the wheel of my car (or a friend’s car—I’m not picky!), putting on some great music (recently I’ve found it’s hard to beat The Avett Brothers), and seeing where I end up.  I’ve driven the California coast a dozen times since moving to Los Angeles three years ago.  And one of the most awe-inspiring moments of my life remains driving into Moab, Utah for the first time—and finding myself surrounded by all that orange mountain rock.  There is just something about seeing the world while driving through it. It is a great way to explore somewhere new—and the absolute best way to revisit a place that matters to you. And a person that matters to you.  The great windfall of a road trip is often all those borrowed hours with the person riding shotgun.

Just make sure to establish beforehand that you’re in charge of the soundtrack.

2.      DO Cook For The People You Love.

I came to this lesson late: Cooking can be an act of total and complete joy.  I’m not talking about dishing out six course gourmet dinners every night—unless you are so inspired, in which case, do you want a new friend?

But I’m sincerely saying that I’ve found making something wonderful and nourishing for the people that matter most to me has added a serious contentment to my life.  From heading down to the farmers market for an early-morning run to navigating a new pasta sauce (may I highly recommend this yummy number from Jessica Seinfeld, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment putting a healthy and comforting meal on the table. Added bonus: This contentment often results in someone pouring me a glass of wine.

(Oh, and this is a side DO: when you cook, someone else better clean.)

3.       DO Walk It Off

During a pilot episode of a TV show that will remain nameless (Felicity! Don’t hold it against me—it was a great show!), the main character offered a piece of wisdom that has always stayed with me.  She said: I'm learning little by little that we decide what our lives are gonna be. Things happen to us. But it's our reactions that matter.

I think this is beyond true.  We often face adversity—sometimes in small ways, sometimes in larger ones—but it is how we handle what is in front of us that determines our happiness.  As much as possible, I try to enjoy the good.  And, when the tough comes breaking in, I remind myself: this too shall pass. And it often passes faster (or at least it feels like it is passing faster) if I find a way to walk it off.  Actually taking a walk—tying up some soft sneakers, breathing in the fresh air—is often the best start I find.

4.   Do Make New Mistakes

For a long time I thought if I played my cards just right, I could avoid making mistakes: No more keeping my mouth closed when it matters most, no longer saying yes when I mean no.  No more unnecessary parking tickets because me and quarters apparently have issues.  But the hard lesson to learn is that if you are going to be involved in your life, you’re going to make mistakes. You simply can’t avoid it, at least some of the time.  But I’ve tried to follow a mantra I recently learned: since you’re going to make mistakes the key is to make new ones.  Learn and explore and forgive in an entirely new ways.  (As an example: just yesterday, instead of the keeping my mouth closed, I spoke up and said the exact wrong thing!)  In all seriousness, this is what I try to do now, as much as possible: I try to learn from what’s happened, truly learn from it.

And then go screw up in brand new ways.

5. DO Agree With Each Other Whenever Possible

One of the greatest things about writing the kind of books I do is that I get a chance to sit down and talk to so many amazing people about their relationships and families.  When I started working on The First Husband, I visited with a couple who I’d first met years ago while finishing my first novel.  I knew this couple was special from the start.  Not only had they been married for forty years, but they still loved and enjoyed each other so much.  I asked them what their secret was.  The wife told me very simply: “Well I listen very carefully and whenever possible, I look for reasons to agree with him.”  Then her husband said: “I do the same.”

In honor of them, this is my final DO.  Agree with each other whenever you can.   Not only does it make the world a little easier, it makes it a whole lot better.

DO-OVER

Don’t Expect One Size To Fit All

I don’t mean this in terms of clothing.  When I was younger, I used to think that there was a right way to go—a safe college, a safe path.  It was just a matter of picking correctly.  But, I’ve learned that what is right for one person can be completely wrong for another.  It isn’t about what makes sense on paper, or makes sense to the group at large, it’s what makes sense to you.

So, for my do-over, I’d tell my teenage self this in a way she could hear it.  (I’d probably have to get her on the phone.)  And, when I did, I’d tell her to trust herself more.  She could make a decision—or several—that might be confusing to the outside world—but, if it felt right, she should be brave enough to follow it freely.

Oh, and while I had her, I’d also tell her not to buy that enormous striped sweater just because the saleslady promised her it only came in one size.  Even if she was telling the truth, she also wasn’t. So I guess I also do mean this in terms of clothing.

To find out more about the incredibly talented Laura Dave, head over to her website, follow her on Facebook and Twitter. And don't forget to BUY HER BOOK.

Thanks so much, Laura!

xoxo

L&L

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mommy Monday: My Mommy MUST List by Liz

It's been a while since my last Mommy Monday. Lately I've been hanging out over at Momlogic.com, bitching about things like Chuck E Cheese and summer camp.  I'll be blogging there couple times a month so don't forget to head on over if you've had one of those days and need an instant mommy blog fix. Today I'm talking about one of my favorite subjects.  Myself!  Or rather, my MOMMY MUST LIST.  You know, those things that I just can't live without.  And maybe a few things that, well, I could live without but just don't want to!  And the Mommy MUST list will be a regular feature here, so don't be shy-let me know what your Mommy MUSTS are.

What are the things that make your day easier? What are your guilty pleasures?  What do you absolutely HAVE to have or you *might* just kill someone?  Tell us here or email me and maybe I'll include it in on the next Mommy MUST list!

But for the first Mommy MUST list, I just started with the basics.  Things that are as essential to me as food and water. Things that I would do just about anything for.  Things that I might cut a bitch for if I had to.

Liz's Mommy MUST list: The essentials!

Starbucks Green Iced Tea-  You don't want to get between me and the nearest Starbucks in the morning.  After patting myself on the back for kicking my daily five shot iced Americano habit, I realized I traded it for another addiction.  And just because I don't get a headache and crackwhore shakes when I don't have my green tea doesn't mean that I'm not just as obsessed with getting my daily fix.  Damn you Starbucks and your refreshing beverages!

Mac Macbook- He helps me blog, email, shop, keep in touch with friends and crop my vacation pictures. He tweets, keeps my calendar and lets me know when I've eaten too many Weight Watcher's points.  And even though he's been a bit slow lately and I'm thinking of upgrading him to a younger, sleeker model, he still gets the job done and never talks back. If he could cook and do laundry, I'd leave my husband for him.

My iTouch-He drowns out Spongebob, Johnny Test and my kids fighting over those lamesass Mighty Beanz. (WTF with those things anyway?)  I'd never would have written one chapter of The D Word without him blaring my favorite playlist as a soundtrack for each chapter.  He can even facebook or tweet for me in a pinch! And most importantly, he plays my music without any commentary about how lame Barry Manilow and Nickelback are.

A weekend getaway- We all need a break sometimes,right? So when I get the chance to get out of town sans kids, I head the most adult place I can find: Las Vegas! Between the pool, the spa and the free drinks, you'll be saying, "Kids? What kids?"  as you play Blackjack next to D list celebrities at The Hard Rock Casino or as you dance on the table at the Playboy Club. My new favorite hotel?  The Aria.

A Good Book- If you don't have the time or money for a quick getaway, why not escape into a good book?  I highly recommend The Divorce Party by the lovely and talented Laura Dave.  Want to peak into someone else's life?  Then check out Julie Metz's fascinating memoir, Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal.  And on that note, tomorrow we'll be introducing new Lit IT Girl Kim Wright and her fabulous debut, Love in Mid Air!  Make sure to stop by and leave a comment for your chance to win a copy.

Happy hour with the girls- It's muy importante to take  the time to have a glass of wine and detox with your girlfriends every so often. Staying connected with your besties is the best gift you can give yourself!  My favorite place to relax and talk some shit with my favorite girls?  The Rooftop Bar in Laguna Beach.  Their view is amazing and the sunsets there are like no other.

So there you have it!  What's on YOUR Mommy Must list?  Leave a comment and I'll enter you in a random drawing to win one of TWO copies of Christine Lemmon's Sand In My Eyes.

xoxo, Liz

I'm in the mood...to read By Liz & Lisa

We’ve been trading books since high school. Back then, we'd exchange juicy Danielle Steel novels like Secrets, Changes and The Promise. Even back in the day, we loved a happy ending.  And if there were some steamy sex scenes on the way to that happy ending?  Even better! But even now that we've traded in our shoulder pads and skorts for underwire bras and Spanks, we still love to swap a good read. Well, most of the time, anyway...

Let’s just say sometimes one of us is in the mood for a darker and intense memoir (*cough* Lisa) and the other would rather just stay in her happy place (*cough* Liz). Or someone (Liz!) might BONE OUT over the entire Twilight series and the other (Lisa!) might, well, still be stuck back on New Moon. (Note to Twilight fans: before you unleash your inner vampire, she hasn't given up on Edward and Bella just yet!)

We think book choices boil down to how you’re feeling when you're ready to pop open that novel. So, whether you’re PMS-ing, feeling fat and depressed; or you’re perfectly caffeinated, having a great hair day and happy as a freakin’ clam (without the help of a little xany!), there’s always a book that fits your mood.

So, in honor of National Give a Girlfriend a Book Day, here are the books we’d give our moody girlfriends.

THE "STUCK IN A RUT " FRIEND

Candy Girl by Diablo Cody

This memoir about Diablo Cody’s year as a stripper will inspire any Bored Betty out there to try something new and exciting. It probably won't send your girlfriend out to get naked for money (although Diablo's “adventures” sure made for a freakin’ good story) but maybe she'll at least finally give skydiving a try?

Diablo Cody's writing is smart and funny; her way of describing a scene so you feel you’re right there in the strip club is incredible; and her ability to tell the story without judging an industry that the majority considers to be seedy and lowbrow is, well, cool.  So if you need to ignite a little spark in your life, read this book! And follow her on Twitter, she's hilarious! @diablocody

THE "BURNING THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS" FRIEND

The Manny by Holly Peterson

If you want to turn your brain off, forget about your problems and escape into the fun lives of women looking for love and happiness, we say Chick Lit is the way to go, yo! And if we had to pick just one (and not the one we wrote :) ) we'd give The Manny to any friend stressed out of her mind.

It's a breezy read about an overworked NYC mom who decided to hire herself a Manny to help her out with the daily demands of trying to be the perfect mom, wife and corporate climber all at the same time. Oh, and did we mention that her Manny is one yummy piece of eye candy?  Uh-oh.

Overworked and underappreciated wife + Hot Manny= BIG TROUBLE!

No wonder Liz's husband said N-O  when she begged him for a Manny of her own after reading this.  He knows better!

Click here to become a Facebook fan of Holly Peterson.

THE "EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER" FRIEND

The Divorce Party by Laura Dave

If you're up, down and all over the place, we say any book by Laura Dave will bring you back to center. So to our emotional friend, we'd recommend her latest, The Divorce Party. This is a dual-narrative told by two women who both ride an emotional rollercoaster as one of them faces her upcoming wedding and the other faces her upcoming divorce.  But like any strong women, they navigate their way through it. It's a great story (who knew about these divorce parties that go on?!) that will remind you that no matter how crazy and overwhelmed you feel, you can always come out on top. www.lauradave.com

THE "ROBOT AKA EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE" FRIEND

Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah

Wrap this one up for your favorite robot and watch the tears flow! Seriously, Liz hasn't cried that much since her daughter spilled grape juice all over her brand-new white Juicy Couture sundress!

It's a wonderfully engaging story about lifelong friendship. (Gee, I wonder why we related to it so much?)  Firefly Lane follows two women from adolescence to adulthood and touches on what it truly means to be a friend. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry.(Liz!) And it will make you call your mom and best friend the minute you're done reading to tell them how much they mean to you.

www.kristinhannah.com

THE "PITY PARTY" FRIEND

Happens Every Day By Isabel Gillies

Even though this memoir is about the sad and unexpected end of Isabel Gillies' first marriage, it's a beautifully written example of how even when things seem completely hopeless; when the rug is pulled out from under you; you do have the power to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and freakin' get through it! (If she can survive serving her husband and his mistress a dinner over candle light, you can find your inner muscle man too!)

Isabel Gillies brilliantly writes the story of getting through a devastating time in her life with the help of her friends and  family; all while doing everything she can to protect her two small children. If we had a friend who was feeling down about her life, we'd give her this book. Because, it reminds you that, in the end, everything will work out--if you believe that it will.

www.isabelgillies.com

So buy your friend a book today! While you're at it, we'll shamelessly suggest you throw this one in your cart www.amazon.com ;) It's a good call for the "Need to freakin' LOL" friend.

Xoxo,

Liz & Lisa