I'm in a slump. A writing slump. After working like crazy on the The D Word and then battling our way through the query process I find myself a bit, um, unmotivated while we wait patiently for our dream agent to realize that we're the next big thing in publishing.
So rather than pitching articles and brainstorming ideas in my spare time, I've been Facebooking with reckless abandon. And RTing my face off on Twitter. And I even downloaded that Oprah tell-all biography to my Nook last week. It was clear- I had officially hit my diversion rock bottom.
So when it came time to write about writing, I was perplexed. Because besides this blog and a few other things, I haven't been doing much writing at all this past month. (Unless you count Facebook status updates. I've been killing it over there!) I picked up my trusty journal, dusted it off and opened it up to find only empty pages. Where, oh where, had my inspiration gone?
So I did what any self-respecting blogger does in this situation. I decided to write about why I'm not writing. My editing downfall. My own version of internet crack.
Facebook.
Since spending so much time over on "The Book"(that's what I like to call it), I've noticed a few things. Or rather, a few types of Facebookers that make me shake my head, LOL, LMAO, ROTF or hit the "Hide" button. Have you seen these people? Are YOU one of these people? It's okay if you are. As a self-proclaimed Facebook whore, I'll be friends with ya anyway.
1. The Facebook Bulimic
It's all or nothing for this person. You won't hear a peep from them for two months and then BAM! They throw up all over your page, your pics and your status, then disappear as quickly as they came- not to be heard from until their next purge. A "like" or even a "ha!" in between would go a long way. Consistency please!
2. The Embarrasser
I personally think there's a little bit of this one in all of us. I've posted my fair share of junior prom and GNO gone wrong pics. But there are some people that won't rest until every single picture from the 80's and 90's has been posted and tagged. Until every bad fashion decision and aqua-net inspired hairstyle has been revealed. How many times do I have to defend my pre-tweezed eyebrows? For the last time, I was going for that whole Brooke Shields look!
3. The Debbie Downer
I felt real bad the first time your kids got sick. And it really sucked when you got that flat tire. And when your flight was delayed I still was hoping you were just having a run of bad luck. But when it never ended I realized you were Debbie Downer: Facebook edition and hit the "hide" button faster than you could say Farmville.
4. The Politician
Left, right or in the middle, I don't want to talk politics on FB. I'm just there to check out if my exes moved on with someone hotter than me, not to watch "Meet the Press". And the ensuing political comment battles that go on? Ugh. I'd rather be subjected to a million Mafia Wars posts. And that's saying a lot. Can't we all just get along?
5. The Non-Responder
I'm sad to say that my husband falls squarely into this category. In fact, maybe I even over-Facebook in a misguided attempt to make up for his non-responsiveness. Tag him in a old picture back when he had a mullet? Never gonna say a thing. Write a sweet nothing on his wall? It will forever sit there untouched. Give him a poke? Nada. Nothing. Well, in Facebookland anyway. It goes over much better in person at home. =)
What divine diversions do you indulge in? Leave a comment to be entered to win one of three copies of Chelsea Handler's latest, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG!
xoxo, Liz