Access Hollywood

Shame on You, Bachelor! By Lisa

bachelor-mesnick45 Jason, Jason, Jason... Or should I just call you Douche Bag?

WTF? Really? Follow your heart... no regrets...my ass!

I'm not sure why, but I expected more from you. Sure, you're a reality TV contestant in a contest to find love on a completely unrealistic show where the number one way of getting to know each other is through the sport of hot tubbing, but still, I expected more. From. You.

Now don't get me wrong, I heart the Bachelor (the show, not you). I love the psychoness of the chicks as they get kicked off . I enjoy watching the cattiness of the girls as they fight with each other while also fighting for the Bachelor's love. But if you ask me, the women are just insecure and competitive and don't really want the Bachelor as much as they want to win or be won.

But I love it all. Even the hottubbing. Especially when the Bachelor is hot and as much as I'm annoyed with you, seeing you with your shirt off wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened to me.  But what I didn't love about you, Jason Mesnick, was that you became a Douche with a capital "D".

I felt for you when DeAnna broke your heart, I really did. I thought you seemed genuine and legit. So when I heard you were the next  Bachelor, I was happy for you. I knew you'd have your pick of "25 ladies" who would find you cute and sweet, just like I did.

But then the show started and you just couldn't stop crying. Dude, is it really that sad to say good bye to a girl you've known for five minutes? WTF with all the waterworks?

And then the kissing that went on? It seemed like you never knew what to say back to every poor girl professing her love so your answer was to kiss her? It became incredibly annoying, but still manageable and certainly not cause to stop watching. I'm proud to say that in all the seasons of the Bachelor, I've never thrown in the towel... even when guys almost Douchey-er than you were the Bachelor (and there were a couple).

And anyway, you didn't fully turn me off until "The Bachelor: After the Final Rose.

I'd seen the promos for the Most dramatic Bachelor ending ever and there you were, crying again... on that balcony. I thought WTF happened now, did he slice his finger on a thorn?

Even after I'd heard on Reality Steve that you were going to dump Melissa and go for Molly and that you knew it all along, (Jury's still out on that BTW because I can't believe that even you'd be that gross- Although now after possible emails between you and Melissa have been uncovered by Access Hollywood, you seem to be anything but accountable--Bachelor Emails), I watched the show anyway. Because I'm a romantic who's had her heart broken many times. Plus, I hoped that the rumors weren't true. Even though my preference was Molly all along. I prayed that you wouldn't break Melissa's heart--especially after what happened to you.

But you did. And not only did you rip her heart out, but you did it on national television. Sure, there wasn't an audience in an effort to "keep it as intimate as possible", as Chris Harrison said, but it was still in front of millions of people. And it was just gross dude. The way you did it, what you said, everything. And yes, I'm totally judging you. Because. I. Can. You put yourself on TV so you are opening yourself up to it, plain and simple.

And for the record, Melissa, you handled yourself with dignity (even when you were told there was a limo waiting outside *gag*) and when you called him a bastard, I sort of did a little cheer for you on my couch. Good call on not appearing on The Bachelor: After the Final Rose, Part 2 and putting yourself through further humiliation. I have no doubt you were asked, begged probably.

So last night, I watched The Bachelor: After the Final Rose, Part 2. And you and Molly, after six weeks, say you're still madly in love. Good for you. Because everyone deserves someone. And if Molly can fall for a Douche, more power to her. And I know you both said that it's been hard because you've been judged (Molly too) for how you acted. But the truth is, we don't know the real story and we may never. I just cross my fingers that you didn't plan to do what you did to Melissa (as the rumors claim) and that you don't do it again to Molly (if simply for the reason that three versions of a proposal in one year would just be wrong, sorry).

There's one more thing I really want to say to you but I won't- believe it or not, I can bite my tongue. Because as judgmental as I feel and as fired up as I am, I'm not going to go there. I think you're douchey enough already without me pointing out another thing that I didn't like. I'll simply say this, I hope you can now focus on your family when the cameras aren't rolling.

PS: You kept the big-toothed, dental hygienist, stalker around for longer than the first rose ceremony why again? Actually, don't answer that because I really don't care.

State of the Union by Liz

I'm not a super political person so my friends might find the fact that I'm giving a State of the Union pretty damn funny.  However, I think it was almost impossible not to feel passionate about the electoral process this past year!  But don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with the State of that Union.  Rather, I'm going to be talking about the State of my union! And like Lisa, I struggled with what to write in my first entry on this blog.  I feel like I'm being introduced to the world and anyone who knows me would agree that the people pleaser part of me really, really wants your approval...

So in an effort to help you get to know me better and in the spirit of politics,  I've compiled a list of what I'm "For" and what I'm "Against".

Liz is for:  Teeny bopper movies, cute scarves on cold, rainy days, The Biggest Loser, hot sourdough bread with butter, Facebook, Perez Hilton, tall men (I married one), sushi, the environment, inner beauty, Reese Witherspoon, Angelina Jolie, Dogs, Macs, Angels, forgiveness, family, H&M, ANTM, The Haitan guy from Heroes, Josh Duhamel(broke my heart when he married Fergie!), Access Hollywood, self-awareness, American Idol and using the F word when appropriate.

Liz is against:  Evites (Sorry if you've recently sent me one...), MySpace, TMZ, Tyra Banks, Elizabeth Hasselback, short men with Napoleon complexes, (sorry about that too!) reptiles, motorcycles, passive-aggressive behavior, tardiness, PCs, The Wiggles, Spongebob Squarepants, bickering, laziness, grudges and hypocrisy.(Or is it hypocritical to be against hypocrisy?)

As Lisa mentioned previously, we started this site because we want the publishing world to know that Chick Lit is alive and well!  Let's face it ladies-we are supposed to be everything to everyone-supermom, superwife, super-employee and do it all while looking super-hot.  So when I'm done being trying to be all those things, the last thing I want to do is sit down and read some depressing Oprah's Book Club shit! Sorry Ms. O, I love you, but I gave up on the book club after The Poisonwood Bible many years ago. If  I want to cry I'll turn on the eleven o'clock news or Dateline!

The women I know and love want to escape and be lost in a story about people they can relate to!  That is why we decided to write I'll Have Who She's Having.  We wanted to read about characters that we would want to be friends with.  Most people can relate to Kate and Kelly, the two sisters depicted in our novel.  Kelly is a new mom who decides to quit her job and stay home and struggles to fit in to her new life and snobby neighbors.  Kate is single, recently dumped and struggling to figure out why all the men in her life are afraid to commit, not realizing that she's looking in all the wrong places. Like many of us, both Kate and Kelly are struggling to find their happy ending!

So let's say it loud and proud! Give women QUALITY movies and books to choose from! Make 2009 is the year of Chick lit!  Happy endings and hot men for everyone! All self-proclaimed "bad-boys" will be tamed by the women who want to change them!  All men will leave the beautiful, mean girl for the mousy underdog!  I mean, come on, with everything going on in the world these days, don't we all deserve a happy ending now and then?

Yes, damnit, you do!  And we're going to give it to you!